What to do when things don’t go as planned? (Photo by ebilski)
The gap between our expectations and reality is where angst, fear, anxiety, anger, tumult, and disappointment live. What do we do when we planted our expectation garden carefully and up pops a pandemic? Here are 3 things I’ve been learning.
Expect to feel out of control & confused. We can’t control the news, school districts, the online classes given/not given to our kids, the virus, what our neighbors are doing, how much our toddler wants to be close to us, or how far away our teen wants to be away from us.
Expect low motivation. Low motivation is a component of quarentine not a statement on our intrinsic worth. I watched this awesome video from Adler University, and learned motivation is often on the other side of doing something slightly hard, mildly unpleasant or a task we don’t feel like doing. Just knowing that has helped me get a wee bit more done.
Expect to be tired. Processing grief, fear, the unknown, boredom all takes energy. Some ideas to re-boot that energy: 10 minutes of Legs Up The Wall with a guided meditation, 20 minutes in the middle of the day watching a favorite old movie with a friend to text with, 5 minutes of laying in a ray of sun - I learned that one from Bentley.
When I nudge that gap between reality (lack of control, low-motivation & fatigue) and expectations (this is gonna wrap up soon, I’m gonna clean out that basement I’ve been ignoring for 6.75 years and '‘why am I so tired’) I diminish (not eradicate) some of that angst, fear, anxiety, anger, tumult and disappointment. That opens me up to receive little white tulips I didn’t expect: dinner with my young adult kids - EVERY NIGHT, a new sense of time unfolding in a less rushed or frantic way, and saving so much money on gas!