“I wonder. . . . what if . . . omg . . . what next . . . “
Is this you? It’s me! Chin on hand, staring into middle space, repeating, “I don’t understand, I don’t understand.” Not all day, just some of every day recently.
Our internal self-talk, those chin in hands, staring into the middle distance moments are a key driver of our moods and emotions. If we imagine our mind like a packed car of thoughts - we usually let the meanest, cruelest, most pessimistic sit in the driver’s seat. I don’t know why, maybe we think mean is honest? Or maybe we believe we will be lazy turds if we don’t berate ourselves, or that mean is motivating? Whatever the case, it’s not working, it’s not motivating, it creates drag on our day. Here are three new ones to ADD into your car. Don’t try to kick any thoughts out just yet, use your focus, energy, willpower on adding these three ideas in.
1. MANTRAS: Cut down on the clutter and use a mantra. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
I can handle it. They can handle it. We can handle it.
This is temporary.
This is happening to EVERYONE. #weareallinthistogether
I am on a big wave, I can’t control it, I can float on it.
I am not in charge of the unfolding.
2. EMPOWERING LANGUAGE: Instead of, “I can’t stand homeschooling, I am NOT cut out for this.” Try, “Wow! School at home is a challenge, it’s important to me that my child reads and does math every day. I value using and modeling patience so I will end the school day before I lose it. I am strong and I will grow into longer and longer school days.” I’ve been recommending EVERYONE print out Suzanne Ritter’s, Empowering Yourself With Words. I share this with all my clients - parenting, organizing, time management. Read it every day, let it soak in and you will find you have more access to calm, patience, and your pre-frontal cortex.
3. GRACE: Who needs grace these days? YOU! YOU need grace. We are good at doling it out to everyone else, we are not so good at covering ourself in grace. Bewilderment, grief, chaos, loss, change, the unknown, sickness, anxiety, churn, bad news, uncertainty all take a lot of energy to process. It’s ok if we don’t improve our 11 year olds, our 20 year olds, our marriage, our business or ourselves. We can tread water today, and get back up tomorrow. Turns out pandemics are endurance sports. Endure a little, thrive a little, mope a little and please, let’s all laugh a little too.