When our child back talks we can get emotional and keep the lecture going, and often what we get in return is a big fat eye roll!

7 Alternatives to Backing Down OR Fighting Back THe Backtalk!

If they have JUST back talked - avoid saying, “Don’t back talk me.” or “We don’t back talk in THIS family.” Because . . . ummmm. . . it they already did.
When you are not angry - sit one on one and re-play the scenario with them. “Hon, I’m trying to understand, when I reminded you to take the trash our the response was so intense. Any ways you can think the trash could be taken out without anger and hostility?” (If you have a teen - check out this audio blog: http://balancingactllc.net/blog/2019/6/25/communicating-with-teens It describes the “Circle Back”)
Inform them, not at back talk time, “When I am spoken to rudely I will stop what we are doing and take the dogs for 30 minutes in the woods. “ or “I am unwilling to drive people who speak to me disrespectfully until the next day.” or “If there is disrespect the car will be on lockdown for 24 hours.” Then WHEN they try back-talking again, let the consequence unfold - no reminders, no I told you so, let experience do the heavy lifting.
Most kids backtalk at one time or another. We want to diminish it, we probably can’t eradicate it.
Tone down our issuing of commands, instructions, good ideas or “nifty tips”.
Ignore the backtalk and see if they do the task - just as an experiment. This one takes a lot of self-control and will need to coincide with different self-talk. “My child is cooperative, this will pass, he is doing the chore, he doesn’t sass his teacher.”
Back talk is relieving stress for them or solving a problem or showing their power - how can we help them relieve stress, solve their problems or be powerful in another way? Think — “adding in” skills and techniques instead of “STOP Back talking!”