I ran a zoom call last week, so fun to talk to parents, create community and share some laughs. One parent showed us her single spaced, typed list of possible things people (her spouse and kids) can do in the house if they have down time. Sometimes she spots her tween JUST SITTING THERE! It drives her nuts. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO!

Now that single spaced typed list motivates her, and motivates me (a fellow ‘doer’) and all the other ‘doers’ on the Zoom call nodded emphatically. Don’t just SIT there when you can DO SOMETHING.

We asked ourselves, “Five months into this cascading bad news cycle, has anyone been able “TO DO” there way out of it?” Zero hands raised, the pandemic still rages. I think her son had a lesson for all of us. What if ‘being’ is what we need to expand to tolerate this extended uncertainty. Let’s think of ‘doing’ as our bicep and ‘being’ as our tricep. We need both to be strong and flexible. Our kids are usually much better at ‘being’ than we are. One of my kids would come home from college and I accused him of ‘aggressive relaxation’, and now I wish he were back home so I could slurp up some of that peaceful ‘being’. Let’s expand our ‘being’ toolbox.

Inspiration on Being

That Mom I mentioned, her tween has joyfully been coaching her in simply sitting and doing nothing. How encouraging for our tween when they have a skill to share.

Listen to this self-compassion meditation by Kristen Neff (over and over and over) - it’s 4 minutes.

Set a timer to be productive for 50 minutes and then take 10 minutes to observe your surroundings, drink a cup of tea using all your senses, walk barefoot outside, do some square breathing.

Watch or read something frivolous. Pick your poison YA, romance, mystery. This frivolity will help us get out of the ‘fix it’ mode that is making all us ‘doers’ more anxious, tense and upset.

My own son said this, “Mom, you have to have faith that this will work out, even if you can’t see how yet.”

Create a mantra: “I am ok for this moment.” “We can handle this.” “I am not in charge of the unfolding.”

I’m doing a training in using Mindfulness in my parenting practice and I can’t wait to share ideas, practices and ways it can expand your parenting toolbox with you on my next monthly Zoom Call.