3 Ways We Accidentally Dis-Respect Our Kids
1. Ask questions we know the answer to
If you know your child took the cookies, the money, the brother's t-shirt, it's very disrespectful to ask. Catching people in lies does not teach people not to lie. If you know the answer to the question phrase it as such, "I saw the oreos were all eaten, I was looking forward to sharing them. We'll be taking a sugar break for a week." "I am assuming there was change from that trip to the Safeway, please leave it on my desk." "Joe's Supreme t-shirt needs to be washed before he comes home from camp on Saturday."
2. We Are Nice
We ask them to clean their rooms, they don't, we buy them new clothes. While we are buying the new clothes we remind them that we expect them pick up these clothes, after all we've done for them. Then, guess what? Their room is still totally messy and we completely ADDED to their insanity. That is disrespectful. Being NICE is not always respectful (recovering nice people out there, click here for a little re-fresher).
3. We Are Disappointed
You guys, they want us to love and admire them. They do, they really do. When we think they will do better because we are disappointed in them, we are both WRONG and we are draining the relationship. They are little, they are emerging people, and I'm betting we aren't so perfect either. Expect the tantrums, back-talk, procrastination, the bad grades, the messy rooms, the disorganization. Instead of being disappointed, be curious, ask questions. Maybe re-read The Only Shocking Part, you'll get a good giggle along with some good info broken down by age group.