George Floyd protests in Uptown Charlotte, 5/30/2020 Unsplash (IG: @clay.banks)

What do we say as tragedy after tragedy unfolds? We parents must paradoxically be strong and knowing for our kids — while at the same time sorting through our own feelings of anger, fear, outrage, shock, and sadness just to name a few. How do we do this?

While searching for something appropriate to say, I went to my roots of Adlerian Psychology for inspiration. Adlerian Psychology is based on social equality for all, regardless of age, race, income level, ability, or education. We all are entitled to dignity, respect and the freedom to choose our thoughts and actions.

As parents, what can we do?

Ask questions before giving kids information. “What do you know? What have you heard?” When we give kids a chance to talk before we do we can get a sense of what they know. We can learn what they might be anxious about. We want to refrain from overloading them with facts and thoughts they may not be ready for.
Sometimes the overwhelm makes us retreat, be silent, and stop taking action. Remember to rest, but don’t quit making change for social justice. Honor the resting and when your resilience is built up again take an action that stands for equality, respect and dignity for all.
Admire your kids for their convictions. Kids have an innate sense of justice. Be inspired by their passion and vigor and questions. They are the future, help them believe that they are capable of making real and sustainable change.
Keep the conversations going, for the long haul. Conversations promote new thinking and understanding. Model to your kids how we can converse, disagree, clarify, understand, and keep conversing. A big part of conversation is simply (not easily) listening. And now is a time for us to listen to each other.
Search for your inspiration to keep you optimistic. I returned to the teachings of Alfred Adler who taught democratic living and parenting. Our kids lives and beliefs will be infused with our parenting style, let ours be truly democratic where we all are equals, treat each other with mutual respect and expect and uphold each other’s dignity. “Everything can always be different.”