Chores Without Wars

 It's possible!!!

It's possible!!!

Things I've learned about chores over the years:

1. When we make a big deal about chores and use lots of negative energy to get them done, we accidentally wire stress and avoidance with chores. In the awesome book, "No Drama Discipline" we learn about how 'what gets fired together gets wired together'. We accidentally fire yelling, nagging, shaming, perfectionism with chores and thus we have accidentally created a chore allergy in our children.

2. Chores are not all negative. Our feelings of being defeated, overwhelmed, put out by chores is very catching. I'm not saying you have to love chores, I'm just saying you might want to change your own attitude about them. I like to think of them as a mini work-out and like knitting. It's simple, relaxing, straight forward, you know when you are done . . . UNLESS.....

3. You have too much stuff! Chores are really, really awful when our house and calendar are jam packed. If you super hate a good tidy consider if you need a good purge. (I'm here to help, click if you want 10% in August!.)

4. Little kids want to do chores with you. Teens want to do chores alone, and without your advice.

5. If we accept emerging chores doers - chock full of mistakes and misfires, we usually have a pretty good helping group in our family. If we criticize, nag, expect perfection, make them do it over, give lectures and advice we find ourselves often doing chores all alone.

6. Anger can really get your people MOVING, but at what cost? We often blow chores off until we are VERY irritated and thus, AGAIN, accidentally fire pissed-offed-ness with chores

7. Did I mention de-clutter. Here's what The Minimalists say: "The fewer things we own, the fewer things we must clean." What?! I love it so much.