Remember "I Told Them Challenge" ? Take a minute if you need a refresher, I'll wait. . . . Has anyone else noticed that people respond WAY faster to new action then they do to old lectures? Talk is cheap, and rarely works how we'd like it to. We can keep talking AND let's add in some of these new ideas.
Instead of "I told them to do their homework." Try asking a curiosity question and . . . wait for it . . . LISTEN to what they have to say. We may learn they want to wake up early and work in the morning. We may learn they prefer to do homework after a snack. We may learn they like to do homework after their little sibling goes to bed.
Instead of "I told them to clean their room.", try - de-cluttering so each bedroom is 15 minutes from clean. Take everything out that isn't a book, stuffed animal or clothes. Ditch 40% of their clothes (we all wear only 20% of what we own).
Be Willing / Unwilling
Instead of "I told them to put their clothes in the hamper.", try informing them that you are willing to wash all the clothes in the hamper and un-willing to pick up clothes off the floor. THEN DO THAT without REMINDERS or feeling bad when they cry.
Use pre-frontal cortex
Instead of "I told them to throw out the microwave popcorn bags.", try anticipating that they won't throw out the popcorn bags and inform them that you are going to take a break from purchasing them for two weeks until you can rest up.
Zip the lip and get into action! You'll be surprised by what you learn.