The Blooper Reel

Bloopers

We all have them. Sometimes we hide them, sometimes we lie about them, sometimes we try to forget about them. I’m talking about those awful parenting moments when you know you’ve made a giant mistake.  Perhaps you’ve yelled, maybe you forgot to pick someone up, it might be that you laid the shame and blame on a bit too thick, or you were sarcastic and mean, or terse and short tempered.

It’s ruined . . . . FOREVER! 

There is one that lives on in our family. We can laugh about it now, but at the moment no one was giggling. Our house had just had the upstairs renovated and I had new, beautiful, white linen drapes installed on the wall of windows in the bedroom. One of my kids was upstairs doing homework in my room and I went casually up to check on him. On the shelf, below the curtain, I noticed a book, a notebook, and an uncapped  sharpie. WHAT?  AN UNCAPPED SHARPIE?  WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH A SHARPIE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I approached the sharpie and what do I see on my linen curtain? A thin green line of permanent marker. I turned on my heel, looked straight in his face and yelled, really yelled, “It’s RUINED . . . . FOREVER!!!!”

Love means having to say you are sorry.

Being a smart kid, he high tailed it into his room, apologized and left me alone to freak out. And freak out I did. How could he be so disrespectful? Why can’t we have nice things? Why do they sell sharpies? No one with children should be able to have sharpies in their house. Why? Why Me?  Once that ran it’s course the parenting remorse set in. He didn’t ruin the drapes on purpose. It really could have happened to anyone, and it often does. With my emotions in check, I went in and apologized for losing it, and he apologized for Sharpiegate, and we moved on with our evening. I really was sorry for yelling like a crazy person, and he really was sorry for writing on the drapes. We both apologized and we both remembered that people are more important than things.

It’s still there . . .

The faint green line is still on those drapes. I hardly ever notice it, and when I do I smile at the blooper reel that plays in my mind of that evening. It’s a good story now. I tell it in my parenting classes to illustrate how you can lose it, apologize and make up, all in about 30 minutes.  So what’s your blooper reel? Have you apologized for it? Can you laugh at it now? Family life is full of bloopers and luckily we can get up the next day and try again, and again, and again. Maybe some day we’ll all be ready for our close ups!

 

Resolutions for the Holidays

As we enter the crazy season of holidays and vacations and resolutions I’ve been thinking about how our parenting skills can get out of whack and take a beating during this time. Below is a list of holiday and New Years resolutions to ponder.

I resolve to live by “The Less is More” motto.

Less is more toys – let’s just start there.  This is the season of gift giving and let’s all be mindful that the junk we buy our family and friends becomes the  junk they have to nag their kids to pick-up.  The less you have in your house, the less you have to pick up. Remember too that most kid’s favorite game is to fight with their sibling as close to a parent as possible, no legos needed for that game to work.

I resolve to have realistic expectations.

If you have little kids and you travel on vacation, don’t expect much sleep. If you have kids and it’s a holiday, expect runny noses, sore throats and head aches.  If you have kids and you go to a holiday party, expect sugar highs and bed time lows. If you have tweens expect that the sweater, or phone, or book you bought them is completely dorky and for losers. If you have teens expect them to either be out with their friends or asleep. If you have family traditions with tweens and teens expect eye rolls and groans and sarcasm. Keep doing the tradition, but expect the push back. Expect these things and you will have an easier time dealing with them. 

I resolve to take care of myself.

Nag yourself to make your own bed, clean your own room, go outside for some fresh air, find a play date, take a nap, eat something healthy, practice your musical instrument, read a book. Need I say more?

I resolve to be grateful.

We live in a culture where it’s never enough. Never enough money, never a good enough education, never a clean enough house, never a healthy enough meal. We live with an attitude of scarcity. Let’s buck the system and resolve to be grateful for what we have. Let’s live with an attitude of gratitude.  A roof over you head, food to eat, lights that turn on and a little money in the bank is a lot more then most of the world has. 

I resolve to volunteer.

The best way to get that attitude of gratitude is to volunteer your time and services. You don’t even have to get ‘official’": shovel a neighbors walk, have your child decorate a homemade card for your neighbor’s birthday, take a dish to the folks down the street with new twins, pick up some trash in front of the bus stop. There’s always a way to pitch in, and it always makes you feel better.

In Conclusion

The holidays are part magic and part drudgery, part delight and part exhausting.  Resolve to abide by one or two of these resolutions and see if you can glide through the season with more grace and gratitude.